Best Before Date

Digital art collage by Stella Kalaw

The first time it occurred to me—my best before date—was in the back of the beyond of post-civil war Mozambique. We were in the countryside most affected by the massacres, which lent the journey a solemn air, at least for me.

I had worked and lived in Zimbabwe for a few years of that civil war, so I was keenly aware of the atrocities that had occurred across the border in Mozambique. But the day was fair, and the villagers came from far and wide wherever we stopped in order to greet the donors to their small but life-saving agricultural projects.

We were a group of diplomats on the board of an international food and agriculture organization. Our job was to observe how well our funding was being used. The guide for this journey was a middle-aged, slightly rotund fellow who seemed to fancy himself an African cowboy. He was Mozambican from a distinctly European background. He regaled us with stories containing partial truths and exaggerations about his life and role in the organization. The importance of our funding in relieving hardship was probably the only truth in his exuberant ramblings.

This was my final pre-retirement assignment as a representative of the Government of Canada. My colleagues on the trip were mostly male ambassadors representing their countries. Most came from elite backgrounds and did not have the hands-on experience I had had in international development. Although I had experienced the prejudices familiar to women throughout my career, with this group of diplomats, I was a respected equal.

We had just successfully, but with much effort and some trepidation, crossed a fast-flowing river in our jeep—one of several in the cavalcade. We were jubilant because we had not had to exit the jeep and ford the river on foot. Our fearless leader laughed and turned around, looking straight at me.

“You must have been a beauty when you were young,” he said.

I was still smiling with the happiness of not having been the next meal for a crocodile. My face froze, and I gave him a cold look. The gentleman beside me coughed and turned aside. The incident was quickly forgotten. We continued in silence to the village by the coast, where we were introduced to women who had received funding for small projects, such as hand pumps or other tools, to make their lives less gruelling.

This was a moment which opened my eyes to how still too many men view women, even in a professional setting. I was used to chauvinism and flirting from years of working in Africa, where men are frequently strutting peacocks and women either preened or ignored depending upon their age and experience with such behaviours.

I had passed “the best before date” in some eyes. But fortunately, I had enough self-confidence and other resources beyond the physical to sustain me going forward.

The next time I considered my “best before date” was a few years after my retirement. Considering that I had by then undergone several seriously stressful family situations, many operations and aggressive cancer, it shouldn’t have surprised me to face wrinkles in the mirror. And today, while attempting to keep fit at the community gym, my husband and I were joking about the treadmill chart topping out at age 70. I guess that people who are older don’t use treadmills or else there wasn’t enough room on the screen to go any higher.

In spite of these jolts to the self-image, I know that I, and my former colleagues in international development who meet once a month to keep in touch, are still within the best before timeline. These exuberant women have sponsored scores of refugees; actively contribute to their communities; continue to educate themselves in a wide variety of subjects; write, sing, paint and engage in other artistic endeavours; travel the world while also looking after elders, spouses, children and grandchildren. They are busier now than when they worked gruelling hours, on behalf of Canada, for the people of developing countries.

Although there are still plenty of strutting peacocks attempting to roll back the achievements of generations of those who have struggled for women's rights, these women are not daunted. They continue to lobby at home and around the world for equality for women. For them, there is no such thing as a best-before date.