In my experience (I'm 77), there were a few stunning losses early on when I didn't expect them. But now the pace has picked up and all rivers lead to the same sea. I retired from my work as a hospice chaplain when I turned 65. It was a special privilege to do that work but it was still unfolding "out there." Now it's very much "in here." I try to be present to some of my dying friends and am sometimes asked to lead their memorial services. I agree entirely that families are much better served by personal memorials with ample space for reflections from people who knew and loved the person who has died. I will say, however, that absent the traditional structures, many families flounder painfully in planning services. They don't know what they're "supposed" to do.
In my experience (I'm 77), there were a few stunning losses early on when I didn't expect them. But now the pace has picked up and all rivers lead to the same sea. I retired from my work as a hospice chaplain when I turned 65. It was a special privilege to do that work but it was still unfolding "out there." Now it's very much "in here." I try to be present to some of my dying friends and am sometimes asked to lead their memorial services. I agree entirely that families are much better served by personal memorials with ample space for reflections from people who knew and loved the person who has died. I will say, however, that absent the traditional structures, many families flounder painfully in planning services. They don't know what they're "supposed" to do.
Thank you for this brave and honest post.