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Nancy M Walsh's avatar

This post provoked a torrent of tears. My father, Al, died in January of 2020 at the age of 96 from congestive heart failure and end stage kidney disease. He struggled in his last two years with constant falls and subsequent stays in rehabs and hospitals, a hip replacement, and dialysis that went on far to long. I realized, after reading your beautiful essay, that my dad could have been thinking the same about me, his first born daughter, because against all logic, he would come through every crisis, weaker, yes, but alive. I wish I knew then what I know now; that when he would sing the old song, “Show Me the Way to home Home” that he wasn’t just thinking about his actual house but something more.

His final days were spent in rehab, after recovering once again from an accident in an Ambulette taking him to dialysis on Thanksgiving morning. Amazingly, he hung on for two more months but eventually died in the hospital surrounded by me and my two adult children, holding his hands, and trying to sooth him with our songs and our voices telling him he was not alone. He struggled but my son, wisely, said what I couldn’t, that it was okay to go, that we were all there. Only then was he able to eventually let go.

Thank you for your beautiful essay about your own father that allowed me, nearly three years later, to reflect on that which has haunted me since his death.

With a grateful heart,

Nancy

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Mary Anne Ferguson's avatar

another very poignant and thoughtful story of losing a parent, akin to what Alice wrote last week. both give us ideas and inspiration of how to approach the loss of a beloved. and many thanks to both authors for sharing the intimate tale of how to navigate these troubled waters.

mary anne

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