28 Comments

Plus ça change...Lovely and insightful. Thanks David.

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I thoroughly enjoyed this piece - even though I couldn't relate to a single aspect of it. Numbers are definitely not my thing and I like to stop and smell the roses rather than racing on by to be first. As for being able to keep track of my grade four report card - long gone in moves between countries, lives, and years. But if this helps - I would score you highly on words! And top prize for self-awareness with humour too. Thank you.

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Love this! Thanks for the laugh. Glad we aren't the only people comparing Uber ratings to see who's "best."

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Funny post that reminds me of the 'Nosedive' episode of Black Mirror where everyone can rate everyone they meet. It seems like Uber drivers are already living that reality - they can choose not to interact with anyone lower than their preferred rating. Imagine doing that at a dinner party when a stranger approaches - "Excuse me for a second, what's your email address? Oh, I see you tend to get into confrontational arguments and make others uncomfortable. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not interested in speaking with you." When this time comes for us all, just make sure your ex's don't write any personal reviews, or your social net-worth will plummet.

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Not to worry, Al. After all, how much do differences to the second decimal point really matter? Incidentally, since writing this essay, my score increased to 4.89. No big deal.

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Excellent early morning read! Many thanks for the laughs. I'm competitive too, but try and keep it on the DL. My Uber score is 4.88 as well. Not bad considering I once yelled at an Uber driver who let us off in the middle of nowhere saying we were right in front of the Earthquake Museum (we weren't).

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Your big brother is a 4.86–and it’s killing me!

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What a great piece! I laughed my way through it, gratefully, in these grim times. Then my husband and I checked our Uber ratings! Both 5s! Though his score is based on more rides than mine, so not sure how to weigh the scores. Good to be reminded that we still are who we were.

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Congratulations on achieving what remains an elusive and aspirational goal for the rest of us mortals. You and your husband may have to insist on additional narrative comments from the driver beyond the point score for a more nuanced perspective on who is the better passenger. I know I’d insist on it.

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Your favourite sister just checked her Uber score. It’s a 5! 😂

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This is painful to know.

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Love, love, love this: thank you! Quite something that you still have your Grade 4 report card. Mind you, I still have the white dress I wore to my elementary-school graduation ceremony.

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Thanks, Susan. I happen to have all my report cards from Kindergarten to Grade 12. The teachers were astute observers most of the time, and their comments are a testament to how little I have evolved.

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Wonderful writing, wonderful disclosure. I live in Toronto and am sorry you've quit as a therapist. I would like to refer peeps to you.

My husband and I do the Wordle daily, and I am much more competitive than he is. So I guess it is not always a gender thing.

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Thanks, Jinks! I suspect your competitive drive over Wordle doesn’t really undermine the gender-based argument, because guys compete over more stupid stuff!

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You are incorrigible. And utterly forgivable.

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Is it a gender thing? Is the earth round?

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Number one for humour David - I still remember your post on being a camper!

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My Uber score is 4.88 too. This type of thing in our family takes years of therapy to resolve. 😲

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Loved your story, David. I'd say 10/10!

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Passengers have Uber scores? I hardly dare look, being rather casual about doors. Glad you have more time to write, David. Your sense of humor deserves a creative outlet.

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Thanks, Rona! Most people I’ve spoken with were unaware that Uber drivers rated their passengers - and experienced chagrin akin to mine on seeing their scores.

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