18 Comments

this is an unexpectedly enlightening piece without the usual macabre tones. It instead offers up the pleasure of understanding the lives of people no longer with us, people not necessarily known when alive , and without the trappings of a social engagement. Cemeteries turn into a profound educational forum which is a novel way of thinking about them and providing respect.

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Mary Anne. Thanks so much for your thoughtful and kind words. Educational - yes. We are all living on the shoulders of those who came before us, as writers and as humans. Thanks for reading my story.

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Graveyards are wonderful places to explore. Sometimes I stop and explore along a road less traveled.

Funerals on the other hand, not so enamored. I had an ex who loved attending funerals. He would use them as a social outlet. He would stay until the bitter end. You could hear him holding court and laughing up a storm like he was hosting a comedy show. I used to hide in obscure places until he was ready to leave.

Celebrations of life (they're called now days) hold no interest of mine either.

Good read!

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Patti, thank you for your comments. What a wonderful and somewhat hilarious description of your ex - I could picture him holding court. I suspect that is just one of many reasons that he is an ex!

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I really resonate with..."Perhaps I am drawn to funerals out of an intense need to connect to people more deeply." People are stripped of artifice when in the presence of death. They become more themselves.

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Thank you very much, Susie. More themselves - yes!

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Have to admit I avoid funerals, but visiting afterward in the quiet sunlight and shadows is a comfort.

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What a beautiful image. Thank you for reading my story.

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Loved this! But, your “ quick to the bottom line blond friend”, would not have been too pleased I suspect , with such a charming narrative! Her loss; our gain!

After my husband died last spring, one of his sons came to visit me. I asked if he had received my last text , and as answered simply with TLTR! So… there we are…

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Thank you. I had to Google TLTR as I had never seen it. I suspect that neither you nor I would ever reply with such an acronym!

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Carol - It is clear that you really understand that grief is what leads us to experience the fullness of life. I too haunt cemetaries looking for someone with the same name as mine. Equal parts humour and pathos. A well balanced and well told piece. Congratulations.

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Pat - thanks so much for your comments. I am pleased you found the balance right. It is something I struggle with. In my wandering, if I find a marker bearing a name similar to yours, I will be sure to send you a photo! Thanks again.

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Carol, you articulated so many things we think about and feel in relation to living and dying. Somehow my weekly walks through Mount Pleasant Cemetery make me feel as if I am part of a grand continuum of souls with all of the same yearnings, fears and desires of those who preceded me. I never fail to chuckle when passing my favourite mausoleum to a military man named Captain Fluke . And I will not forget the seemingly thousands of crosses at the Cimetière Beny-sur-Mer in Normandy commemorating our Canadian fallen soldiers. So many who died to ensure that we might live our lives as you suggest - with the freedom to be our best selves. Thank you, Carol.

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Thank you Kristen for your thoughtful words. Captain Fluke - what a wonderful name for a military man! With so many opting to have their ashes scattered, graveyards may be yet another disappearing aspect of our contemporary times. Thanks again.

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Carol, I am very moved by your story, and especially its intimacy of thought and wonder. The flow of your words carry the image of those thoughts so beautifully. Mary Hawkins

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Mary: Thanks so much for your very generous comments.

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I love meandering through an old graveyard. In fact, I live across the street from one! It's to the East, and I love watching the sunrise over the landscape. I've captured some photos on my Instagram (@jenzug) using a #DailyCemetery hashtag. There are a few Civil War vets buried there, some Russian mobsters (probably not, but I like to imagine), and too many babies from the early 1900s. Occasionally we hear a 21 gun salute. https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/dailycemetery/

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Fascinating! I have checked out the hashtag you suggested and followed you on Instagram. Graveyards do get the imagination going.

Thank you for reading my story and for your comments.

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